i has led poisoning?

AVClub

Following the recall of nearly 12 million Shrek glasses over the summer because of toxic levels of brain-damaging, cancer-causing lead and cadmium, the Associated Press has discovered that pretty much every decorative drinking glass ever made carries the same risk, dating back to nearly 50 years ago. A specially commissioned laboratory test of 35 separate drinking glasses made between the late 1960s and this year—including those with enamel designs of Superman, Batman, and characters from The Wizard Of Oz—found that all of them exceeded federal limits on lead in children’s products by up to 1,000 times, many of these coming from glasses given out as part of various fast-food promotions over the years. For instance, the old Return Of The Jedi drinking glasses issued by Burger King in 1983 that, if you’re a certain age, you probably drank out of nearly every day? Even 27 years after their manufacture, they still “hit the FDA lead level for 6-year-olds after just eight touches.”

We had THOSE EXACT GLASSES when I was a kid. My family only stopped using them years later, after most of that tasty, tasty paint had been scraped off. But I don't think the led has damaged me brain two much. And cadmium is like a vitamin or something, right? I drank a lot of milk out of those glasses. I mean, a lot of milk. So that's like twice the cadmium. Cadmium helps kids develop interesting bones and a healthy glow. Cadmi-yum!

Now, those 'big government' types would tell you that if there was a regulation on the safe amount of toxic material in a children's drinking glass, *someone* maybe should have actually checked sometime in the last 50 years. But they'd be wrong. The enforcement of government safety regulations would only deny the free market the chance to poison children more efficiently. And deny them vital nutrients like cadmi-yum.

I think all this brain damage is making me more conservative.

On a completely unrelated note: Palin 2012! Woo-Woo-Woo!